I was born in a suburb of Washington D.C. in 1956, the fifth child of six, the third son in a
Roman Catholic family with strong Irish heritage. My parents raised us very much within
“THE Church,” as we were taught, and though I left the church during my fundamentalist atheist
phase of life, and its theology is no longer powerful for me, the Catholic sense of spirituality, of life
infused with sacredness, ritual, and mystery, were part of the air I breathed and are still with me. My father’s work required much travel; we lived in Washington, Germany, Hawaii, South Carolina, and Oklahoma as I was growing up. With so much moving, it was difficult to find a sense of rootedness in any place, or to form close long-term friendships. Yet our transient life gave me the gift of making quick and warm connections with a wide range of people, and a great appreciation for the differences that make each part of the country and world unique. Our deeper roots were in our Catholicism, which gave us ready-made communities no matter where we were. The few very close friends I have found as an adult are very precious to me, expanding my sense of “home” beyond the boundaries of a nuclear family.
Music was central to my life as a youth and young adult, from the time I joined the Kailua (Hawaii) Intermediate School Band as a beginning trumpet player, through high school and college and into a first career as a private-school band and chorus director in Tarrytown, NY, a suburban community a half hour away from New York City. When I left teaching I entered a Master of Trumpet Performance program at the University of South Carolina. My years as a band and orchestra musician, director, and teacher had a profound influence on my sense of leadership, and my vision of how individuals concentrating on our own self-development can come together to form an organic whole greater than the sum of our parts. Though I no longer play trumpet, I found singing as a young adult, and music remains central to my sense of self, my spirit, and my ministry.
I have been married three times. As a sophomore at Michigan State University I was married to Joan Vallender; our seven-year marriage ended in divorce, reflecting my own lack of preparedness at that time for the daily conscious actions and choices that make love real. After my return to South Carolina and the ending of my pursuit of a career in music, I was married to Jessie Garner. We lived in New York and in North Carolina together; our daughter Garner Morris was born in 1989. It was in response to Jessie’s ultimately fatal illness that we first attended the U.U. Church of Charlotte, and that community’s gifts of love and care to us, coupled with my joy at discovering a new understanding of the nature of religion, were the foundation of my call to ministry. After Jessie’s death in 1996, Garner and I were carried along by the love of close friends, who also helped us welcome Leslie Takahashi into our lives when I met her in 1997. Leslie and I were married in 1998, and our son Liam was born in 1999, the same year that Garner and Leslie decided they would become officially related by adoption, and we all became the Takahashi Morris family.
After my seminary and other preparatory work was completed, I was fortunate enough to receive my first call, to the Charlottesville congregation. The experience confirmed for me that this powerful, daunting, grace-filled, personally challenging, and deeply rewarding work is my true calling.
Leslie and I were partners from early in my ministry--I served as the Charlottesville congregation's sole minister for four years before our co-ministry began--until now. Through 15 years she was my most gifted and honest guide, and the most supportive and inspiring colleague I could ever have hoped for. This partnership has been an extraordinary blessing for me, and I am grateful beyond measure for the richness of the experience.
Our years in California, serving the Mt. Diablo U.U. Church in Walnut Creek, have been rich in events, in learning, and in the work of a successful ministry. They have also been a time of change in our personal lives: Leslie and I separated in June of 2012 and have subsequently divorced. Our connection remains important even as the circumstances of our lives together have changed. As I embark on a new direction in my own ministry, the blessing of my family is still very much with me. I celebrate as our daughter Garner, now 25 and living in Oakland, creates a loving and meaningful life for herself--including as an active leader among young adult Unitarian Universalists. Our son Liam, now in his high school years, is finding his way toward young adulthood. His developing musical talents and the gifts he finds in sharing them, both in school and outside it, fill my heart with joy.
A Story of My Life
